Conditional vs Unconditional Love


Mothers day is a time to show appreciation and affection to the woman who not only gave birth to us, but who also made significant sacrifices to raise us into the kind of man we are today.

Hence the opportunity to also reflect on what kind of man we are, and how this influence has played itself out.

Our mother is typically the first and strongest experience of the feminine we had for most of our early life, so our experience of the unconditional love, support and affection that she gave us shaped our expectations of what we thought we should expect from our wives. But the problem here is that, especially in a world of single mothers, where the influence of the father is marginalised by our society, boys are being raised by mothers who want them to express sacrificial, subservient values, while those very same mothers find such men sexually repulsive.

She wants her son to be a nice boy, while she is herself aroused by bad boys. So we have a generation of boys emerging into manhood with a skewed personality that is gynocentric and decidedly unmasculine. When these boys get married, they think their wives will love them with all the unconditional devotion that their mothers do, so when they find themselves separated and divorced, often after many years of emotional and mental abuse they struggle to make sense of it.

The central premise is that a woman will never love you the way you want to be loved: that is, unconditionally. This is unsurprising when you think about it, but not immediately obvious to any man who is overly influenced by his mother. Only through reflection on the biology and psychology of men and women do these things become clear to men, who find their relationships crumbling after they begin to show signs of vulnerability, weakness or neediness, that is repulsive to a woman who expects him to be strong, courageous and stoic.

Our society has some things to answer for, as it labels much of what it means to be masculine as toxic, blaming it solely as the root cause of domestic violence, and yet despite decades of social and psychological engineering and intellectual brainwashing, violence continues to be a problem.

 

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